I just want to keep loving you forever,

but I’m afraid because I don’t think you love

me like you used to.

do you know what heartbreak feels like? I feel like I’ve lived a life of heartbreaks, all small in size and relatively unimportant, but adding up to one giant pain in the pit of my stomach. that’s been there forever. I’ve been through things few people even know about, and delt with situations parents fear will fall upon their children. Things I haven’t even explained all of it to my best friend, my boyfriend, my mother, or anyone.

It’s what makes me unsure of my words, my feelings. Unsure of your words, your feelings. I need your reassurance, because it was there at first and I felt so strong, so sure. But it’s faded fast and before I was ready to swim without the floaties. I need you to believe in me, know I’ll learn to do it, but understand that I need you to stay with me a little longer. 

Because if you don’t I think I’ll drown in my own fears, and it’s already overwhelming me inside. 

If only I could make you understand. If only I could make you do something before it’s too late. before I ruin everything for myself.